jantri’s

My soul is in the most forlorn desert of its nonetity. Destitute of glee, inadequate as a human both in spirit and in flesh, I guess I have made the greatest sin among all-to ruin other people’s lives through the wreck I had built out of mine…

I have always wanted to believe in an Entity, in eternity, and in destiny. I wanted to repudiate the macabred thoughts of this ephemeral and doomed existence. But it was only after I have
realized that what I have wanted has already been happening to me. It was only after I had figured out that Believing and holding on to my anguish and travail cannot be in concurrence. It simply cannot be. The tragedy of this life is selfishness. I have been meagerly inadequate of starvation from pride and pleasure. I do lack something so that I realize that I am not contented. I am deprived so that I seek for a need.

I have constantly wanted to speak from the heart and not from the glands. But inevitably, a totally seamless incongruity always comes into the fore. When this time where I need to speak for myself, why hinder? I guess I have waited enough. I guess I have endured too long the zenith of this panged conscience. This time, at your feet, I lay down me. Grant me my long sought serenity. Heal me from the bruises of my inequity.

I never knew that it would reach this far. It has been past due, and I do not know when will I give fate a break. My mind is in vex, my heart bypassed. I need a dire answer, and would it be too much if I’d ask you to grant me one?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 17th, 2008 at 10:10 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.